Welcome Into The Darkness

hey korg.. lame xblogging eh.. mne xnyer, idop aku nowadays da di ambang ke arah tanjung rambutan.. gile ar pale otak aku ni dah dgn assignment last minute yg lecturers bg dgn amatla brtimbang rase.. the last i checked i had 13 assignments on my belt.. added with final yg gile dkat, cm tgh main "cak cak" je da… mnambahla lg risiko utk aku hilang kebolehan mngawal diri aku nih.. pastuh, aku plg xbley blah bile kne blaja bnde yg xde kne ngene dgn idop aku  yg aku sndri  xminat nk truskn.. korg imagine ar, kitorg kne blaja drama? mybela konon2 tujuannye tuk aja kitorg blakon.. cme aku ni trpakse pgang wtk a guy.. ai, nk suro aku blaja jd laki watper?? besides, iv been acting my whole life maa.. lg satu, csc.. computer.. blaja basic n necessary things xpela.. ni x, blaja psl bus line ar, RAM ar.. n tah hape2 lgla.. duli hape aku mnde2 tuh? janji pc n internet ley brfungsi dala… buku dala berat.. tmbh lak dgn kwn2 yg xmmberangsangkn..ishh! pecah pale aku ni kalo theory fiziknye ble pcah ikut kebengangan org… so, in a nutshell, I DAMN HATE MY FREAKING LIFE!!!!!!

Hmm.. 1stly, assignment da byk gile.. Lecturer pulun skali gus.. Patut bgla earlier so that we can concentrate on studying time2 nk dkat final nih.. Gram jgkla, but i see it coming.. mane xnye, klas lain sebok dgn mcm2 assignment, klas kitorg lenggang sawi jek.. Nyways, td I went nuts.. Ttibe trase nk jd gedik.. So, I pn jdla.. Guys in my class sume xthn.. Xtaula takut iman jatuh or coz mmg nyampah.. Oh well, that’s the point of being a gedikses.. Bengkekla, nk final exam nila nk buat bnde2 bodoh, buang mase etc.. Rase nk lmpang diri sndiri jer(lame xbuat cmtuh..rindula plk..).. Dala, xmo lame2 kt cc nih.. Nk naik room n study…! Jaane peeps!   

To my classmates yg bace blog I n rase cm I nih nyampah seklas dgn korg.. I have no feelings like that towards korg.. Honestly, I’m kinda greatful dpt classmates cm korg.. Adela reason2.. Maybe the most obvious is that korg xbyk prob dgn I n xby songeh n xngade trlebey..n some other reasons. Nyways, the thing is, I hope korg ley except me just like I except korg okay N to my future classmates, if I was among the ones yg kne kua(hopefully xjd what Pn Hamsiah ckp tuh.. manela tau kn..), I hope korg could take some time to get to know the good side  of me.. Or, if xbrminat  nk bknalan pn, just keep the professional relationship between colleagues  around so that we can suceed this course..Amin..

Darn! 1st n foremost.. Smlm tido lame giler, cm kne druged.. Gile sedey coz wasted my time on sleep.. I should have studied ;(  Then, td  got  2 know some bad news from my student coordinator(which means the info should proof real..), that next semester kne rombak klas.. From 7 to 8 klas coz kononnye class right now is too crowded.. Konon kt lab comp xmuat.. Huh.. Maybe just kuakan 4/5 student from each present class n msukkn dlm the new, eighth class.. Lame or what..?! Dala my name ni ske trmsk dlm pmilihan bnde2 yg nyusahkn.. Dlu kne plkn, padehal diri ni sakit.. Abis tuh, I had to go through hell lot of messy things which was the annoying stare from the nurses n MRI.. MRI was the worst, I had to lay down pakai baju hosp yg nipis tuh dlm aircond for almost 2 hours n I can’t n must not move or have to go through again.. Imagine the pain.. Org dala sakit tulang, sejuk lg, kne stay still lg.. Crazy maa.. N all that was bcoz the PLKN xmo trime doc  pkr kt putrajaya pnye simple memo stating that i can’t do activity physical…? Dorg nk memo yg complicated jgk.. Anyways, now, I think next sem, if they randomly select the student, my name, hig possibilitynye akn naik.. It’s not that I love my classmates like hell.. It’s just the fact that I have to go through the whole gruelling moments of knowing other people tuh yg I hate to bare.. I dala mls giler thp dewa nk buat kwn.. Dgn prangai cmnih..lgla sekse… BENGONG!!!

It’s tiring.. I feel lonely even though my friends and family are around me.. Wait? Should they be called ‘friends’? Just because we’re studying the same thing, does it mean we’re friends??? Anyways, u guys outside there xde prob cm aku ker? U know, this lonely feeling yg mkn de inside of u? Aku nyampah tgk human beings n that includes myself? Am I sick? Maybe.. Funny, slumber rock je aku merepek cmni. Ai, kalo da keje nnti merepek cmni lg sure problem rite.. Oh well, I judt hope that when I finaly have a job, my boss won’t see me.. Just see my work.

Ni lah syndrom br yg me n my roommate Saiha br ketemu dis week.. Sume thanx 2 Fizah who was the 1st person showing the symptoms.. Come 2 think about it, aku dr dlu da mmg ade syndrom ESS nih.. cume dis week after buat research with Saiha br dpt bg name kt syndrom nih.. Seasaw dlm syndrom ni means that it’s naik turun.. Nyways, smlm, sbb tido lame sgt, mlm tuh nk tido tp xley.. Nk blaja, otak trlalu mixed up.. Tension2, dala food poisoning.. Msuk tandas, after kua ape yg patut basuh ar rambut.. boring sgt kot.. Tgk cermin cm smcm cz muke da pucat giler lps kuakn sume isi perut..rambut ak da bsh.. towel xbwk.. Abis lenjun baju.. Blk room buat sudoku jp n den try tido. I guess dpt gkla tido 2wars de end.. Tp, prasan x, kite xpnah prasan exactly when we start our sleep? Bgun2, da kul 7.. Roommate ckp da kjut tp I slept like Im in a comma dgn tgn cm tgh smaygnye gaye.. Man, how I wish I was really in a comma or better, dead…

Dgrla nih, aku tgh geram n tension thp max a.. Mane xnyer, w gotta go 2 replacement class this saturday n the next saturday too.. The reason? Coz lecturer xmsuk klas the first 2 weeks kitorg stat blaja.. lame or what? It’s not our freakin fault coz we all came for classes only to do nothing since lecturer xde. menongok cm bodoh.. Dala i hate new environment time tuh.. Abis, waste of our time jela yg  b4 tuh dtg klas.. Tah pape, baik blk uma or tido dlm room or whatever yg kitorg nk buat.. Now, amik time cuti kitorg utk buat klas.. Then, sape nk replace time kitorg yg da diwaste b4? Td da xble thn kemarahan, aku pn buat ar hal dgn gelak sorg2.. I don’t know why, but if Im tension thp max I akan gelak.. It’s weird.. Nyways, sbg pnambah pnyedap rase kt ketensionan pale otak aku, td dptla paper mtc 038 blk.. Truk. That’s all i can say. The thing is, my lecturer gunekn alasan yg die pnah bg cth kt klas psl kes yg msuk dlm exam tuh but she cant continue explaining or defending that soalan die xlgkp which means, the case yg die pnah mention b4 this does not count ar actually..! ARGhhhhh!!! But, she’s the lecturer kn.. Besides, die baik.. Nk bengang thp dewa pn xsmp ati.. Will i survive in this area I wonder.. Gile pnat a nk idop… Next, this mamat yg i used 2 kinda like prassan giler a.. Aku time cuti br nih da nekad nk study.. Lgpn, when die xbg reaction, kite phm2 sndrila kn.. So, aku pn xskela die da.. People may find it hard to believe..hey, commonla, that’s what we call "just a brief crush".. Ape yg susah sgt nk accept that fact? Abis tuh, die pon tgh prasanla kt mane die brade yg aku ni ske kt die.. Trase nk gi kt die n explain one by one..pastuh bg pnumbuk kt muke die.(snanyer citer nih pjg lg but mls nk tulis.yg pastinye that guy sucks ar..) But then, why should I waste my time on stupid matters like that.. Damn…

argh!! my arms are hurting like hell… yesterday bwk brg byk sgt.. slalu my sis ade nk tlg.. man, my life’s going down! dala tuh, 2morrow kne plak pgi parliament! naik bosan aku tgk dat place.. da pgi byk kali maa.. y doi have to go again?! lame…….. today mmg bosan.. klas lgs xde psl lecturer xmsuk cz xdpt parking their cars.. konvokesyen kt uitm tlh memenuhkn parking2 yg ade.. it’s actually a good thing for my luxury not my study.. dala, buhsan.. ciao dlu.

attributing this lyric to myself:

fuck you, you know

it don’t mean shit now

fuck what ive said

ure hurting me now

fuck you, you now

i don’t want you back

ainnan: have i lost my mind?hm.. mybe? but then, it was already lost long time

           ago i think? what do u think?

ainnan: dude, are u okay? better move on to next blog before u go crazy here..

alrite peeps2 out there.. im going to give an announcement jp. from dis day 4ward, i m going to try concentrating my lifeon my studies n nothing else, including guys or trying to find a bf.. i think im going to give up on guys(not that im becoming lesbo ok..simpang malaikat 44 maa..) because i believe most of them sucks n dat ive done all dat i think i can but never had i been appreciated by them. so, be it.. i hope i can carry out this motto > "no man no cry"